Isang Paghihinagpis

Along came the rain

It begins to rain, so i run under the bridge, near the church where I always hang-out.

It is nice here under this bridge, the rain doesn't get to me, just the chill, better just the chill instead of being both wet and chilled. Brrr...I stare at the church. I put both my arms around me, damn! it's cold. I see all the people with their heads bent, trying to take cover under their small bags, or their pitiful wet newpapers, or under their umbrellas. Hurrying towards different directions, maybe home? Then again maybe somewhere else.

I wonder sometimes what it feels like to have direction? To actually know where I am going. To go south because it is warm. Or maybe head east to where the sun rises. Why not head west? And watch the sun as it dips in the ocean....I couldn't consider north right now, am too chilled to even think of going North...bbbbrrrr...(grin).

The church bells ring, the mass has ended. More people will be filling the streets soon, emptying the church. The rain is getting worse and it is getting late. I wonder why all these peole, who sat for one hour (maybe even two?, listen to a perfect stranger give out sermons, most of which they only hear but never listen to....and end up hurrying home because it is getting late? Do they really believe in God? Is there really a God?

Why hurry home anyway? Where is home? What is home? Who is waiting at home? I don't know what these people think when they think of home. I don't like to think of their homes but of ...gruummm......bbbbblllllleee. there goes my stomach.

Stupid rain, stupid timing, stupid church people. Everything is wet, I can't even get to the garbage cans and piles, stupid truck just passed and cleared that too. now I have to stay under this bridge and try to keep warm, but it's so cold, and I'm so hungry. Maybe, I should take a nap. Maybe, when I wake up the God of the church over there will stop the rain, and my stomach wouldn't grumble as hard. I can't keep my eyes open. But then again, why fight it?

This feels nice...close my eyes, it feels good, floating, feels like I am being rocked to sleep, being embraced. I don't feel cold anymore, i don't feel hungry anymore, hmmmm...it is good not to breathe anymore it hurts to breathe. This is good. I should do this more often....maybe....if those cops will stop staring at me and stop trying to resuscitate me should just stop, and maybe, these onlookers, instead of pointing and pointing and screaming should just do what they normally do...just walk with their heads down...and as always no one listens, nobody pays attention, no one actually sees me, they can't hear me anymore. Maybe now I will get to meet that so called God of theirs. Maybe, just maybe, I will get this wish...

posted by indio @ 5:41 AM